Sunday, 1 October 2017

Illiberal Limericks #21

Now there once was a quarterback clown,
Who yelled “N----!” and made the ‘hood frown;
Then with new Afro locks,
And sporty pig socks,
Took a knee just to show he was down.

Thursday, 14 September 2017

Poof!

Item: Islamic gays barred from Vancouver Pride Parade
See also here.
Now some burqa-boys’ gay little spoof,
Brought upon them the left’s stern reproof:
Though somewhat dismayed
To be thrown off parade,
They’re glad they weren’t thrown off the roof!

Tuesday, 12 September 2017

Aftermaths

From America’s Newspaper of Broken Record: 

"The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why Irma Caused Less Flooding Than Expected.”

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why Climate Change Caused Less Duping Than Expected.

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why Hillary Caused Less Voting Than Expected

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why Trump Caused Less Catastrophe Than Expected

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why Brexit Caused Less Chaos Than Expected

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why Russia Caused Less Impeachment Than Expected

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why Fake News Caused Less Ignorance Than Expected.

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why Comey Caused Less Scandal Than Expected

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why Banning Caused Less Turmoil Than Expected

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why Tranny Ban Caused Less Suicide Than Expected

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why Travel Ban Caused Less Mosque Burnings Than Expected

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why MAGA Caused Less “Hate Than Expected

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why DACA Caused Less “Fear" Than Expected.

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why NoKo Caused Less Armageddon Than Expected

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why White Privilege Caused Less White Guilt Than Expected

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why the Alt-Right Caused Less Anti-Semitism Than Expected

The Monster Surge That Wasn’t: Why NYT Caused Less Anti-Americanism Than Expected 


Monday, 11 September 2017

                  Fact Check
Now on the night that old Hillary got skinned,
Didn’t he vow to redress and rescind?
Fact: “I’Il never let you down . . .”
But the cheers rose to drown:
“. . . once I’ve hung y’out to dry in the wind!” 


Friday, 8 September 2017

Saturday, 19 August 2017

First Blood

Confess, ye armies of the night:
This was the week that shook the right.
In Charlottesville Black Lives Matter
Handed our heads to us on a platter;
Poor Richard Spencer, pepper in his eyes,
His own pain drowning victims' cries,
Called the day a sure round win - 
That wheel, alas, was still in spin.
He’d not yet heard of what went down,
And when he did he had to frown;
The verdict's in, though facts are faint:
The right raised hell, the left a saint.
With all mainstream then out for blood,
It fell to Trump to calm the flood;
He had to think, not lose his head,
So he offered up poor Steve's instead.
Then after Spain, how to combat
The journos screaming copycat? 
Oh the irony, the cruel, cruel ploy:
The right made Islam's whipping boy!
More victims followed, - Russian, Finnish,-
But Charlottesville none could diminish.
Then monuments fell thick and fast,
As progs began to cull the past;
“Where will it end? asked Mister Trump.
Answer: white culture in the dump.
Right on the heels of Robert E. Lee
The living with the dead shall be;
In Canada our Faith got the ax
For being right with the wrong kind of facts.
Now you know and can take for granted
What falls when Blood and Soil is chanted:
Left gets the blood and Right gets planted.

Sunday, 7 May 2017

Macron Bleu!

The City of Lights
Is heading for the caves:
The French by a landslide,
Have dug their own graves.

Saturday, 6 May 2017

email to a minister

Item: Heritage minister wants subsidies for “ailing” news industry ; see: Molyneux

Your proposal is amazing, 
And leaves the country speechless:
To make the lackey press 
Official government leeches!
Though no remedy is known,
For blue pill overdose,
Your merciful injection,
Should bring their suffering to a close
And then these national treasures,
(If you should so decree them)
Can rest with the other fossils,
In the National Museum.


Friday, 28 April 2017

Ivankuished

            The Hundred Days 
Like Napoleon’s comeback campaign, 
That ended in exile and wane:
After Bannon’s Waterloo,
And the daughter's deft coup,
Restoration is on once again.


Saturday, 8 April 2017

Cowboys and Indians

Item: Trump and media side with Syrian White Helmets

Trump’s off the reservation,
With Tomahawks in his quiver,
As we learn to our consternation
That he’s an Indian giver.

He signed the treaty and made a vow 
That he’d never let them down;
But he’s joined up with the cowboys now,
Who are terrorizing the town.

It’s the all-too familiar saga,
With the posse going to bat
For the renegade red of MAGA,
Who suddenly donned a white hat.

Wednesday, 5 April 2017

Reefer Jihadness

News Items: a majority of Canadians unhappy with “Islamophobia" motion 
              Canada to decriminalize Marijuana
                    
As Trudeau delights cannabis owners,
In the wake of his Islamist boners,
He now fairly basks
In grow-ops and mosques, 
Supported by all kinds of stoners!

Sunday, 26 March 2017

Pulling Strings vs Learning the Ropes

Trump tried to cut the Gordian knot but alack,
The naughts wouldn’t cut him any slack.
Now he could learn from that ancient lord:
Never send a pen to do the job of a sword!